Monday, June 27, 2011

So where does Superman go to change.....

There is an ongoing joke in my house. It is about the existance of phonebooths. When my girls first started asking for cell phones, I was resistant. Until you are driving, what is the need for a cell phone?
Them: What if I need a ride home from school after practice?
Me: Use the pay phone.
Them: We don't have one.
Them: (A week later) OMG I saw the payphone at school today. (said as if an alien had dropped out of the sky)
When Jess went on a field trip to New York City she took a picture of a phonebooth, in disbelief that such things actually existed. Much the way you would take a picture of Bigfoot hiking in the woods.
In the following years the school pay phone was removed, but I am glad they verified it's existance before its extinction.

Friday, June 24, 2011


Ever since my daughters turned 16, I've been having issues with their underwear.  As far as I know, I am the only girl in the household having sex, and yet, their underwear is something a stripper might deem fashionable. Just the other day I saw something in the dryer I thought was a shredded tissue, only to discover it was underwear.

The point really hit home recently, when a rubberband attached to a triangle of fabric, was accidentally dropped behind the dryer. I went into panic mode. What if my husband found it? I had to retrieve it. My husband stopped doing laundry when the first pair of girlie underwear that didn't feature the little mermaid surfaced. There is no arguing with this logic. No dad wants to know his girls are wearing anything less than Disney Princess underwear.

I can't wait for September. The girls will both be safely at UMD and my husband can return to laundry duty.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Chubby is in my blood.

There are many ways to deal with weight gain. My weight started creeping up as I approached and then surpassed 40. Let's be clear...I come from a long line of chubbies. It was not unexpected. I was always a bit bewildered by my lack of resistance to weight gain. I think that is because my favorite people (mom and mema) were always heavy, and yet, so fun and happy.

While I wasn't resistant, I was in a strange form of denial.  I bought loose fitting sundresses and the next size up shorts and pants. Instead of dieting, I chose another way of coping.  I cut the tags out of the clothes I bought. No tags, no evidence. Next, as I passed Lane Bryant in the mall, I found myself walking slowly. I wouldn't go in...but I would take note of what I might be wearing next.

This past fall I found the magic combination of sudafed and milk thistle. I am down 19 pounds. Just a few pounds to goal weight. It is a totally unexpected turn of events. My life's path appeared to be clear and predictable...I find myself more amazed at the weight loss than the weight gain.

I've always believed skinny old women were bitches....what if I become one?